My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
