i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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