u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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