didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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