i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
