It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize