Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I am midnight drunk by noon
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
