Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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