I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
