we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
