I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
She bit a glass in half.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
