I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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