Pants 0. Shit 1.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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