i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
