Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
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