very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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