She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
In America we eat man semen.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
NoShamevember. You game?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
