I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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