If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
