My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
