I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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