five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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