Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
