His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
