Plan B is the new Plan A
If that was your dad, he is hot
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
