I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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