My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
