Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
My vagina just clenched in fear
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
