addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
