saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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