Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
