I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
im holly from the hills drunk
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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