I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
This is the high leading the old right now
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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