I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
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