P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
