Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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