We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
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