she said she was living bicuriously through me.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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