Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
