If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just want to make out with him forever
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
