I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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