Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize