You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
