Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
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