Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
