I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize