We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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