i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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