ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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