I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
