at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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