One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
