apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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