I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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