I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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