White coat. Heels.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
