let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
