We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
