For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
