I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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