so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
