Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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